In the fall of 2001 I briefly put my academic career on hold. I made an appointment with my advisor and told her I would be taking care of my six-month-old nephew Andrew two days a week. While supportive, the look on her face was terrible but I stuck to my guns and knew I was doing the right thing. My sister's school year was about to begin and she came up short on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a babysitter. My mom had passed in August and I knew she would have helped her. So I offered my help knowing the potential wrath I'd face for slowing down even more on my dissertation. I don't have any regrets about what I did. In fact, I finished my dissertation far ahead of many other people with the same advisor and AJ and I are pals. I think I needed him at that time as much as he needed me.
Fastforward to 2005. So my sister has decided to forgo her teaching career and go into nursing. This takes balls. It's not easy picking up a new line of work (especially one as technical as nursing) and I have a lot of respect for what she's doing. I offered to take her boys (AJ is now 4 and Timmy is 14 months) today so she could get some work done. She laughed--said something about me and drugs--but I insisted. Today I found out what it was like to have an instant family of 3.
It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought (as I sit here exhausted, nursing a rather large glass of wine). I think I was maybe a bit naive going into it but I really had fun. It's very cool to see Grace and Timmy interact (or not) with one another. Grace is a grabber and poor Tim looks dumbfounded every time she snatches something from him. He's a really laid back little guy and naps in the blink of an eye. AJ is a VERY enthusiastic kid who is exceptionally helpful with the babies. His biggest fault is his incessant pestering me for lunch-- starting at 9am. At first it was funny. But by 9:30 it was pretty annoying.
Juggling the babies wasn't too bad. They tired themselves out and took serious naps. While they napped, AJ and I fingerpainted and it made me realize how much I need to (will be) learn(ing) about parenting. He gets really frustrated when he can't write his name and I found myself struggling for the right words to both comfort and encourage him. So we left fingerpainting to read Dr. Seuss's "If I Ran the Zoo." This is far too long and complicated for Grace right now but AJ ate it up. We laughed and laughed as I stumpled through "Motta-fa-patta-fa-pel" and Gerald McGrew's globe-trotting adventures in search of increasingly bizarre creatures. AJ seemed to really believe these animals existed and giggled and squealed with delight. This was really cool and I can't wait for Grace to be a little older so I can have moments like this.
The funniest moment of the day occurred with Grace and her giant pony. Grace loves this thing. Carries it all around even though it's twice her size. Grace crawled into her tunnel and attempted to drag her horse through with her. The horse simply would not fit. With AJ screaming at her from the other end to "Leave it behind. Just come out!"--Digby decided to attack the tunnel--slamming into it (as only a 75-pound-golden retriever can) and Timmy started crying. This was truly a moment. Eventually I called the dog off and Grace reluctantly came out (without the pony).
At the end of the day, when the guys had left, Grace came tottering over to me and threw her arms around my neck for a hug. I don't think she liked sharing me today but she loved the attention I showered on her for the rest of the evening. It was fascinating to see "a day in the life of a family of 3." No wonder these mothers all talk so loud!!!! But seriously, it was so quiet when they left that it made me kind of sad. It's tough being home with one baby. I think we both get on each other's nerves by the end of the day. I liked having a house full of screaming monkeys--especially because I don't have to do it every day! I'm glad I'm able to pitch in and help my sister. Family ranks exceptionally high on my list of reasons I did not participate in a national job search for a tenure position. While there may be those who question my consistent placing of family before job, I don't. At all. It's who I am, it's how my parents raised me, and if people don't like, they know what to do with it. Now that I'm done with that diatribe, I must pour myself another glass of wine knowing I've earned it!
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