Uh Oh

Grace's new favorite word is "uh oh." It's just hilarious when she says it for reasons I can't really explain. One, it just sounds funny to hear her say an actual word at an appropriate time. Two, she has this curious way of exhaling as she says it that just makes it sound really funny. The other day she was holding her baby doll and she says to me "uh oh. I said "Why are you saying uh oh?" With that she drops baby on the floor. "Oh, ok" I said. This morning we were sitting at the table eating breakfast when a very lazy Digby finally made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Grace announces "uh oh." It's really too funny.

But "uh oh" is a bit how I'm feeling these days. Monday night is my first night back in the classroom. Uh oh. . . .A while back my husband suggested I look into maybe teaching one class to get my mind off of diapers, chunky applesauce, nap schedules, etc. He thought it would be good for me. Honestly, I had already been thinking about it so I didn't need that much of a kick to get the ball rolling. With our new location, we're 15-20 minutes from Temple's Ambler campus and I decided why the heck not. I still think about history, enjoy reading history (when I can), and hope one day to be a bit more involved in the profession. But for now, one class is just fine.

The only problem is that I believe when I gave birth to Grace, I also pushed out half my brain. Any mother out there knows what I'm talking about. On any given day, I'm lucky if I can talk about anything but diapers, chunky applesauce, and Grace's nap schedule. Sure I scan the headlines but I simply do not have the time or energy to keep up with much else besides Grace. I frequently misfire my sentences and I know when I'm in trouble when I look up and my husband is staring at me with a quizzical look on his face. Last spring I was so out of it I actually asked him, in the middle of trying to Grace her breakfast, if Howard Johnson would be returning to the Phillies. I meant to say "Ryan Howard." But God love my husband, he doesn't miss a beat. He simply replied, "No, but they will stop to see him for breakfast." Sigh. . . .

I did manage to get my reading done for class and even wrote a lecture. That last part was tricky as I tried to block the sounds of Noggin out of mind, the smell of a ridiculously poopy diaper out of my nose, and the somewhat overwhelming feeling of "I can't do this" in my throat. This feeling wasn't helped by a last minute cancellation by my babysitter and a mad scramble to find someone at the last minute. Of course I know I can do this. I know deep down I can and I also know that I need to do this because it's an important part of who I am. If anything, I think it will make me a better mom because it's important to get jazzed up about stuff other than toddlers every once in a while. I'm nervous about jumping into the classroom after almost a full day with Grace but also looking forward to 2.5 hours of "me" time. So I'll keep you posted on how the first night goes. Hopefully there won't be any "uh oh's."